Sunday, October 10, 2010

Air pollution(draft)
        

                Pollution …. What a serious problem. Especially after increasing in the last few years . people has suffered from this problem such as cancer but also they are responsible for this pollution. There are many types of pollution : food pollution , water pollution , hearing pollution , sight pollution and the most disastrous pollution is air pollution.

                 The carelessness of people one of the important causes of pollution . for example , the over usage of pesticide . people are driving their car producing a heavy black smoke coming out of them especially in the rush hour . Beside the workers in the factory, they only do their job without looking after the environment . Also the over usage of perfumes and sprays .

                 Death …… yes death is the inevitable result of air pollution . The smoking which comes out of the car contains mono- dioxide , if it mixes with the blood it will cause immediate death . The usage of these perfumes causes the Ozon's hole which allows the dangerous rays to reach the earth . in addition to hearing the phenomena of the black thick clouds " el sahaba el soda " here in Egypt as a result of carelessness of people .

             So , it's really a serious problem . It is not the responsibility of one or two persons or even the government . It is the responsibility of every human being . we shouldn't underestimate the danger of air pollution as that will end life in the world.   Can you imagine the end of the world ????

2 comments:

  1. Pollution …. What a serious problem (?), Especially (complete the sentence, it is not a new sentence, so don’t capitalize the first letter of the word) after increasing in the last few years . people has suffered from this problem such as cancer but also they are responsible for this pollution. There are many types of pollution : food pollution , water pollution , hearing pollution , sight pollution and the most disastrous pollution is air pollution.

    The carelessness of people (is) one of the important causes of pollution . for example , the over usage of pesticide (s) (complete the sentence). people are driving their car (s) producing a heavy black smoke coming out of them especially in the rush hour . Beside(s) , workers in the factory(ies)(, they only )do their job without looking after the environment . Also the over usage of perfumes and sprays .

    Death …… yes death is the inevitable result of air pollution . The smoking which comes out of the car contains mono- dioxide , if it mixes with the blood it will cause immediate death . The usage of these perfumes causes the Ozon's hole which allows the dangerous rays to reach the earth . in addition to hearing (about) the phenomena of the black thick clouds " el sahaba el soda "(that happened) here in Egypt as a result of carelessness of people .

    So , it's really a serious problem . It is not the responsibility of one or two persons or even the government . It is the responsibility of every human being . we shouldn't underestimate the danger of air pollution as that will end life in the world. Can you imagine the end of the world ????

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  2. peace be up on u mona;
    *ur essay is very good;it has aclear purpose
    *it has amain idea.
    *ur essay hasclear&direct sentences.
    *ur essay have aclear introduction,body&adefinite conclusion
    But u have some mistakes:
    *(Especially after increasing in the last few years)there is no sentence.
    *(for example) capitalize(For)
    *(factory) plural
    *(in addition to)(In......)
    *(hearing)about
    *u need to write more information in the body
    good luck

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